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Author Topic: Tatterdemalion  (Read 2702 times)
Gelatinous Cube

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« on: November 10, 2009, 01:12:38 AM »


The Idle Mushroom left a sheet of paper, stuck to your door with a bloody butter-knife.

Bloviating, the verbose Boorish Boar bombastically denounced the Mushroom's posting, causing you to run outside.

After twisting your head skyward and turning the Octagon 180 degrees away from the Boorish Boar, to point at the Southern Arc of the Lower Hemisphere-- looking directly at the Constellation of Constellation, you turned your head and read the note- scrawled awkwardly and written in saffron, genie-dust, and ink.

The title was Sadly Not an Amphigory.

Awkward angle angel
Beared Bouyantly Bound
careens clearly crying
delicious delightful dirge

Awkward Angle Angel
- The most glorious creature of the heavens. That which brings order to Tatterdemalion and keeps it sewn tight into a straitjacket of peace, and harmony.

even enlightened elephantine elkenbeasts
find frivolous firespeech foolish
golden glib greatspeakers gasp, grasping
how haughty heavenly host hounded
in illustrious invidious instances

Elephantine Elkenbeasts - Weighing a ton, these creatures amble from wrecked moving-panes in waves of migration. Their magnetic hearts beat and pull as the weight of the planet's center migrates from up to down over the course of a year. The seasons can be told by the movements of these beasts that sup on but oil and salt to keep their magnetic parts ready and clean

Firespeech - Speech of war

Glib Greatspeakers - Term for famous orators, the world has had 7 times 77 of them over 777 years... according to the official histories anyway. Some argue that the number is smaller or larger and that the 7 times 77 number was just created to meet Quota.

jilted-- jibed jibbering jabberwockies jump

Jibbering Jabberwockies- Oligarchic and proud, the ignoble Jabberwockie race jaunts in their jalopies around the plain, justifying their to immunity to age or poison or illness to jealous leopard-lepers who proceed to pouce and prey on the Jabberwockies' tender, un-hardened throats. Jabberwockies stand about four foot five, although some have been seen at the height of seven foot one, and they crawl at the height of two foot two, and they usually walk two by two- they are pack-beasts by nature.

keeping killing kleptomaniac klutzes
leaping lordly leopard-lepers lunch,
munching marvelously, making mulch
on odious ossified oligarchs

* Nota BeneThe Jabberwockies are jumping and the Leopard-Lepers are killing the klutzes, who are likely Jabberwockies.

purely purile Petrarchs prey petulantly

Petrarchs are noted "Humanists", they believe in the active life of mental, spiritual, and physical accumulation of knowledge and skill. They can be of any race. Alas, some are quite venal hedonists.

quite quaintly queer questions quote
rather regularly-- redacted redundancies rewrite
say solemn Sonambulists, speaking-- still sleeping

Sonambulists- Sleepwalkers.

then the Terrors twist the twilight.
underdark, undercover, under-observed, underfoot
villainous vile vermin VEX!

The Reticulated Whorl - The vilest of vermin, with a tail made of silk, the Whorl floats on the winds and brings chaos when it lands, warping reality into a Whorl of matter as the electrons fly from the atoms, the quantum foam releases and Chaos Theory is proven true.

women weep, watching waxen waspen-waist wildangels wallow wistfully
xenophobic xylophagous xylopyrographers
yelling, yelping, yearning--
zoocephalic zitellas zizz

Xylophagous Xylopyrographers - Wood-eating wood-etchers of the west; very nasty folk.

Zoocephalic Zitella Zizz- Animal Headed Young Girls Sparkle... but not in a good way.


It is a painful thing now that the waspen-waist wildangels have fallen from their glory, struck down and sent into madness by the underfoot Vermin- the Reticulated Whorl.

But the Idle Mushroom has a plan- he has chosen you to defend Tatterdemalion- you, the great hope of the world, you who would bring back order to the chaos and who would return the world to its grandeur.

Quick! Before the Boorish Boar makes his way around the 180 degrees, you must begin your plan. But before you may begin your plan, you must first know who you are.

1. (Repeat 4 times until each of category I and i is chosen once)
You Have! _____ _____
Category I
a- six
b- one
c- twelve
d- no

Category i
a- eye(s)
b- arm(s)
c- leg(s)
d- heart(s)

2. I Once Was a _____, But Now I'm _____

a- A Human Being! (no evil)
b- A Human Doing! (no evil)
c- A Human Seeing! (no evil)
d- An Elephant
e- An Elven princess/prince

a- A gallavanting, yet smartly dressed cadaver
b- A devious dodecahedron
c- A Human unbecoming.
d- A 4 foot tall tse-tse Fly.
e- Something more amenable

Quick! Quick! Roll 4 1d4 or make up your mind- you can hear him loquaciously (and lewdly) swearing.

3. (Repeat 4 times until each of category i is chosen once)
You Own! ____ _____

Category I
a- a
b- no
c- some
d- lots of!

Category i
a- sword(s) -You are a warrior!
b- rope(s)- You are a thief!
c- magic- You are a mage!
d- glitter- You are ... ... a bard!

Now you are ready to adventure!
« Last Edit: November 10, 2009, 02:30:21 AM by Light Dragon » Logged

Gelatinous Cube

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« Reply #1 on: November 10, 2009, 01:13:34 AM »

At A Loss For Where to Go Next!??!
Look Here:
- Phantom Tollbooth
- Lewis Carroll's Work
- The Yellow Submarine Movie
- Some of the OZ books

Suitable Music
Katy Perry... ET
Donovan's.... Riki Tiki Tavi
The Lemon Piper's.... Jelly Jungle
Donovan's.... Hurdy Gurdy Man
Donovan's.... Maria Magenta
Donovan's.... Epistle to Dippy
Beatles'.... Octopus' Garden
Beatles'.... Mean Mr. Mustard
Beatles'.... Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds
Beatles'.... Hey Bulldog
Beatles'.... I am the Walrus
Wild Beasts'.... Brave Bulging Bouyant Clairvoyant
The Hollies'.... Stop Stop Stop
The Lemon Pipers'.... Rice is Nice
Donovan's.... Sunshine Superman
1910 Fruitgum Company's... Special Delivery
The Ohio Express'... Down at Lulu's

The Electric Prunes'... I Had Too Much To Dream Last Night (For the darker times)
Pong's.... Killer Lifestyle (for darker times)

Gelatinous Cube

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« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2009, 01:13:52 AM »


1. Bake 30 cookies out of dough.
2. When it is your turn, take the cookies out of the oven.
3. Label Each 1-30 with icing.
4. Put them in a bag.
5. Take one out, look at its number, then eat it.
6. That is your roll.
7. When out of cookies, grab 30 candy bars
8. Repeat steps 3-6.
9. When out of candy bars, grab 30 ice cubes
10. Repeat steps 3-6
11. When out of ice cubes, make more
12. If too lazy to make ice cubes, grab 30 coins
13. ... ... Perhaps not.

In Character

If you speak not poetry,
Then sane you cannot be.
For what is more sane- the man who can't
Or the thing- that- can most po/eti/cally rant?
- The Man in the Rags

Gelatinous Cube

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« Reply #3 on: November 10, 2009, 01:14:05 AM »

Reserved... though do I dare ever post in this thread again?

Gelatinous Cube

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« Reply #4 on: November 10, 2009, 01:14:22 AM »

Some Things Are best Left Unsaid :fear:

Spawn of Ungoliant

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« Reply #5 on: November 10, 2009, 05:58:31 PM »

Oh this is awesome... I want to be a gallavanting yet smartly dressed cadaver!

I am Doubt, hear me mutter!
Gelatinous Cube

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« Reply #6 on: November 11, 2009, 05:22:33 PM »

Hehe, interesting read. And tatterdemalion is a sweet word. I've always wanted to use that for something.
If you are into alliteration (i know; who isn't?) you might want to check out

Writing: Broken Verge v. 207
Reading: the Black Sea: a History by Charles King
Watching: Farscape and Arrested Development

Gelatinous Cube

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« Reply #7 on: November 11, 2009, 10:18:06 PM »

Wow, that sounds quite mellifluous, and difficult for the person to construct.

I checked out the link to the tome itself and remain impressed. Thank you, CC.

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